What will it take to make me happy?

I've been thinking recently a lot about what it means to me to be happy. I worked really hard this year to try and change my career path but I have found that it may have backfired on me slightly.I relocated back to Birmingham because staying in Bristol for the band was making me unhappy and I wasn't getting anywhere; i missed my friends, my boyfriend, my life. I've gotten myself into debt moving back and trying to move from retail into TV work. Which I didn't actually enjoy as much as I thought I would. So now, I'm working as a sales assistant (when I'm a trained manager), on minimum wage (I'm in debt) and I'm panicking because at 25 I thought I had figured out what I would enjoy doing (TV work) and in actual fact I didn't enjoy it so I'm back at square one. In fact, I'm way back beyond square one... 

I'm in the worst position I've been in for ages. On the horizon though I have the option to be trained to be the new Assistant Manager for the store I'm in (I used to be supervisor there) when the store manager goes on maternity leave.  But now I'm having a panic attack though because, I still don't want to be in retail but I don't feel like I have any other options right now and I'm worried about how unpopular it will make me if I beat everyone else that wants that promotion, when inevitably in 18 months I will leave anyway, or whenever I figure out what it is I want to do, which at the minute I have NO clue about...argggghhhh!! You can see why i'm a bit worried! I feel like at 25 I should know what it is I want to do!!

So. I decided to compile a list. A list of little things, to be looked forward to and ticked off and to keep my mind focussed over the next 16months as  pull myself out of debt and redirect my life.

1. Moving out. I have had to move back to my parents in order to survive my career change and I want out ASAP!!

2. Moving a rescued cat into my new house. My first real grown up thing; taking care of something and factoring it into my life.

3. Buying a Vivien of Holloway dress when I can afford to shop again and wearing it out for cocktails and dancing with my friends.

4. Starting piano lessons, just once a week. I'd like to be able to play both piano and guitar!

5. Posting some of my solo music online!!

6. Having my bad wisdom tooth out and going out for a meal with all food that I haven't been able to eat!

7. HAVING A HOLIDAY!! I haven't had a holiday in three years! Next year I want to go to Morocco and Los Angeles.

Tongue in Chic

 To my surprise, I recently realised that I am actually an avid blog reader.

I constantly stumble (literally) onto blogs and then spend hours running through  pictures and posts and How to's etc etc, I'd never really thought to write a blog of my own before (despite writing part time for music websites) but tonight as I trawled through a fairly dull blog that was entirely about nail varnish (yes, really) I decided to give it a go...

I'm in a bit of a transitional phase of my life right now and everything is a bit up in the air, so as well as my thoughts on fashion, music and the world around me, I'll also be writing down what happens to me as I try to change my life into what I imagined it would be by this point!

Be gentle with me...

L x